Skip to content I have a desire for God, aspiring to immerse myself fully in His love and be profoundly moved by His greatness. Yet, the deepest desires of my heart remain somewhat elusive, lacking complete clarity. Why do I long for God? Is it driven by a selfish reason or does it stem from a genuine love for God? Despite the what all the reasons may be, I acknowledge that my desire for God is more nuanced than a surface level look. In the following exploration, I aim to unravel and reconcile this internal conflict.
The Desire for God – Feeding the Soul
The desire to be in God’s presence, to harmonize so profoundly with Him that my aspirations align with His, is something that I ponder from time to time. I long to delve into the mystery of His being, where every facet of my soul finds satisfaction in His loving embrace. And I believe this yearning is inherent in all humans, whether consciously acknowledged or not.
As I delve into accounts of those who have encountered the presence of God—Moses, Isaiah, Paul—it becomes evident that such an experience transforms them fundamentally. Imagine life altered by a moment in the presence of the Creator, the living God. In that instance, the mysteries of His being are unveiled, and questions about the meaning of life, the afterlife, our origin, and our ultimate destination are answered through His revelation. It’s as if the curtains have been drawn aside, allowing us to see and know God as intimately as we see ourselves in the mirror.
To desire God is to yearn for a harmonious connection, not only within ourself and toward God but also in our relationships with those around us. It is to aspire to be a vessel of reconciliation and peace, and embodying shalom. Ultimately, it is about contributing to the establishment of God’s kingdom, a kingdom initiated by Jesus. This encapsulates the essence of desiring God.
The Flesh and its sinful ways
Despite this, I have an inclination to oppose God’s will, to pursue my personal agendas, and to shape my own destiny. It might involve planning my day or life on my own terms, resisting the commitment to tithe, or handling money according to personal preferences. There’s an internal tug to follow my own path, and resisting this urge requires a struggle of self-denial and embracing the cross of self-sacrifice. I feel this pull on a regular basis and at times I succumb to the ways of the flesh. Although I recognize the beauty of God and his ways, and the wonders of carrying my own cross, but I also recognize that it’s tiring. It is not always natural to me.
The reconciliation of the Soul and Flesh
How do we navigate this inner conflict? If you are like me our soul craves God’s presence, desiring to prioritize God in our thoughts, spending each day with Christ Jesus. However, the flesh yearns for its own desires. What is the path for a follower of Christ? Is it to die to self daily, as Paul suggests, or is it to strive to die to self, most days. Is that good enough?
The solution rests in the redemptive work of Jesus. The ongoing struggle between the flesh and the soul will persist throughout our lifetime. We cannot merely will ourselves to desire more of God; the heart moves as it pleases. As long as sin resides within our hearts, our desires will remain divided.
Therefore, the genuine pursuit of our loving God is not confined to our actions but resides within the heart. When we grasp the extent of God’s work for us, this understanding stirs the emotions and spirit to yearn for Him. It is through this connection that our desire for God deepens.
Have you ever watched a movie where a character captivates you, and you find yourself wanting to be their friend or at least know them better? When I watched Aragorn on the big screen in Peter Jackson’s adaptation of Lord of the Rings, his nobility, humility, and honor left a lasting impression. I felt a genuine desire to emulate those qualities. It’s not merely an intellectual recognition that individuals with such traits are considered good, but rather, my heart was naturally drawn to this character while immersed in the film. Similarly, with Christ, we may be acquainted with His good deeds and gifts, but it is when we experience His grace and feel His love touching in our souls that our hearts long to desire Him.
How does Jesus Christ capture our hearts? Imagine combining all the admirable traits of our heroes; this is Jesus. Picture a king descending from his throne, engaging in a brutal fight, and shedding blood for the sake of his subjects. Ultimately, he sacrifices his life to elevate those meant to be under his rule. This should do more than tug at your heartstrings; it should profoundly move your soul. Recognizing that this isn’t a mere fairy tale but a genuine act done for you should fill your spirit with delight. Serving Him isn’t a duty; it’s becomes a desire. Our hearts are not forced too long for Him; they naturally crave Him.
Conclusion
In our attempts to seek God and live a life desiring God there will always be the flesh to get in the way. Lean into Jesus. Let his life, his love and all that God has done for you bring your heart to want him more.
