Skip to content I have always known that I don’t belong anywhere. The Fourth of July has always been a holiday that reminds me of that. As a Korean American, I am grateful for the sheer luck of being born in a free and plentiful land. However, growing up in a home with immigrant parents who visibly held onto their cultural heritage in a predominantly white neighborhood instilled in me a persistent sense of being different. Am I Korean, or am I American? This question has never been clear to me. So, where do I truly belong?
Where are my people?
Most of my friends growing up were Caucasian Americans. My childhood heroes were Indiana Jones and Luke Skywalker. Despite my innocent hopes of one day becoming like them, I distinctly knew I couldn’t—I looked different. Naturally, I began to resent my Asianness. This is a common experience for many children of immigrant descent.
As I grew older, I started to hang out with new friends, most of whom were Koreans who had recently come from Korea. While I enjoyed their company, I continued to feel that I didn’t belong in their group either. I was too American.
I now understand that Korean Americans form their own subculture within the American experience. However, by this time, the deep-seated feeling of not belonging had already settled in my subconscious.
What that “foreigner” status fostered
This creates a unique conundrum familiar to all minorities. Although with people, you frequently feel isolated, as if you are an alien from another planet. You can wear the mask of a human being and make conversation, but inside you might as well be a reptilian soul with a bizarre thought pattern. This can lead to social anxiety, never at peace, never belonging anywhere.
This partly led me to spend a lot of time alone, compounded by my naturally introverted nature. I feel more like an observer of the human species than a participant, analyzing behavior like a scientist studies lab animals.
Over the years, this has changed and morphed because I now have a very loving and understanding wife and kids to care for, and I certainly have a role in my family that I love dearly. However, there’s still a background noise whispering to me that I am a foreigner in a foreign land.
I Don’t Belong Anywhere- Why this is a good thing
Feeling lonely can actually be a good thing. There is truth and purpose to feeling like a foreigner despite where you are or who you are with. God did not create us to be in the world in its current state. We were made to communicate with God, but the reception is broken. There is hate, turmoil, and conflict wherever we go. There is death and suffering at every corner. This is not the world God intended us to reside in.
God intended us to live in a place of harmony, shalom; synchronized to God and one another. A place where we give and love and live eternal lives walking alongside the creator. So, in truth, we are all foreigners in this land.
So does it exist here?
Yes, it does. The church. As Jesus said, “You won’t be able to say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘It’s over there!’ For the Kingdom of God is already among you” (Luke 17:21). The church should not be a place where everyone pretends to be holier than thou, but rather a sanctuary where sinners gather to strive towards the life we were created to live. It’s a community bound not by race, class, or immigration status, but by our shared acceptance of a Savior who redeems our failures. While it is not yet the perfect place, the church offers us the best glimpse of the citizenship we are meant for.
Conclusions
Embracing the feeling of not belonging has ultimately led me to a profound understanding of my place in the world and beyond. It’s okay to feel like a foreigner because it reminds us that our true home lies elsewhere—in the kingdom of God. This perspective helps me navigate life with a sense of purpose and peace, knowing that my journey is part of a greater divine plan. So, while I may not belong anywhere in this world, I am content with my transient status, finding solace in my faith and a glimpse of the Kingdom. It’s this acceptance that allows me to enjoy life and wait for the next.
check out : JOY VS HAPPINESS IN THE BIBLE: IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? A BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE JOY
