As I age, I increasingly realize my affinity for control. Rather than being swept by the tides of change, I prefer to dictate when and how I move. It’s not that I’m a control freak, but rather that I’ve gained insight into the subtle allure of control. It’s not merely about doing what I want when I want; it’s about being in charge of the decisions and outcomes in my life. This might seem like a nuanced stance, but I believe it’s a pervasive issue that affects not only me but also many others. Through this journey, I’ve come to learn that giving up control to God is perhaps the only and best way to live life.
Losing Control
This situation reached a climax recently when I discovered that our orderly family of five will soon expand to six. The impending arrival of another child has disrupted my sense of control and comfort. While our family is by no means flawless, we have established routines and a manageable level of youthful chaos in our daily lives. Yes, there are moments of difficulty and feeling overwhelmed, but they are familiar and within the realm of normalcy. However, with the prospect of another addition, it feels as though the delicate balancing act I currently maintain is on the verge of descending into pandemonium.
Maybe this seems overly dramatic, considering many families have four or more children, but it was my initial reaction, and honestly, it remains my instinctive assessment of the situation. Admittedly, it’s a far cry from experiencing true loss of control, such as health issues, the loss of loved ones, or unemployment. However, it’s become evident to me that it’s an aspect of my life that requires reevaluation. Who truly holds the reins of my life?
I am in Control- Though it’s an Illusion.
The unfortunate reality is that I’ve grown accustomed to being in control of my life. Armed with my own understanding, I navigate daily decisions—from how to raise my family and handle work to what to eat and how to spend my leisure time. Naturally, I expect these decisions to yield outcomes I’ve anticipated. Yet, this expectation is an illusion. There exists an infinite array of variables beyond my foresight. In essence, I’m simply making the best possible guess with the knowledge I possess. Therefore, control is ultimately an illusion. Surrendering control is merely acknowledging this reality. While I can make educated, wise decisions, I cannot predict the future nor guarantee any outcome with absolute certainty.
Does this imply that I should adopt a passive stance towards decision-making? Absolutely not. We still possess free will, the ability to make decisions that largely shape our future. However, it’s crucial to recognize that there are circumstances beyond our control. Ultimately, we shouldn’t become too accustomed to the feeling of being in control, as inevitably, we will lose it one day. In the grand scheme, we do what we can, but ultimately, it’s in God’s hands.
We are imperfect decision makers
Most people go through life believing that the decisions they make, moment by moment, are the best choices they can make at that time. It’s only in hindsight that we recognize some decisions as mistakes. This underscores our imperfection and our inability to foresee all variables and potential outcomes. Even when our intentions are good and we possess some degree of wisdom, we remain prone to errors. Therefore, is it wise to solely rely on our own understanding? Is there not a false sense of confidence in our ability to navigate life? Personally, there are times when I’m unsure of what’s truly best for me, and making decisions without clear understanding can lead to undesirable outcomes. Thus, always placing our trust in ourselves and relying solely on our own wisdom may not be prudent after all.
Abraham and Sarah- and the Promise
I recently shared the story of Abraham and Sarah with my children, and it reminded me of the concept of trusting God and relinquishing control. God promised Abraham that he would have a son and become the father of a great nation, even in his old age. While Abraham had faith in this promise, he didn’t fully surrender control of how it would unfold. Instead, he took matters into his own hands by impregnating Hagar, which led to the birth of Ishmael. However, this wasn’t part of God’s plan. Eventually, Sarah bore a son, fulfilling God’s intention. Although the Bible depicts God’s love for Hagar and Ishmael, there’s also a sense of sorrow in the story of the unwanted child and his mother being abandoned. This unnecessary suffering could have been avoided if they had allowed God to be in control..
check out the story in: Genesis 21: 8-21
There are countless stories like these, illustrating the concept that God’s will ultimately prevails, but sometimes people make it more challenging to reach that will through their poor decisions.
Letting God take control
If God is real, and He comprehends every detail of the universe and our lives, then He possesses the wisdom to guide us toward our best life. Furthermore, if He loves us, we can trust that He desires for us to understand His will, as it is what’s ultimately best for us. If we have faith in these principles, it becomes logical to surrender control of our lives to Him. Let us allow God to lead our entire lives, in every aspect.
By allowing God to take the wheel, you can rest assured that whatever happens is ultimately for the best. However, this doesn’t mean that your life will be free of hardship; in fact, it might entail facing more challenges. It could result in a less affluent bank account, a less fulfilling career path, or a bit more chaos in the household. God doesn’t promise an easy and trouble-free life. Instead, He promises that through Jesus and by surrendering control, we can discover genuine satisfaction—a peace that surpasses all understanding. This peace isn’t contingent on life’s circumstances but endures despite them. That’s the essence of trusting God.
check out this related article: 5 ways to Depend on God
This is not a Transaction
While we shouldn’t surrender control of our decisions expecting peace in return—it’s not a transaction, a ‘you do this, then I’ll do this’ scenario—it is instead a secondary or byproduct of following Jesus. Being led by God, relinquishing control, stems from our trust in Him. We trust God to steer the wheels of life wherever they may lead us, through its ups, downs, and tumbles. We recognize that God is in control, and we should allow it to be so. With this attitude comes peace, not as a transactional trade-off, but as a state of mind.
Giving up Control to God
Much of life follows a routine, with only a few pivotal decisions where we must consciously choose one path over another. But when these moments arise, I aim to acknowledge God’s faithfulness, wisdom, and love, and to release control, allowing God to work. I hope that in these moments, I can find peace in God’s guidance. Even if our home becomes more chaotic, there is greater joy and peace in knowing that God is in control.