Skip to content To control your anger is no easy task. It’s all too common to let emotions spiral out of control—we’ve all been there. For some, anger becomes a persistent issue, straining the relationships they value most. In this article, we’ll explore the roots of anger and provide strategies to help you regain control. Take charge of your emotions and master your anger.
Is it a Sin to be Angry?
Yes and no
You’ve heard it said that to be angry is not a sin, but it’s what you do with that anger that is a sin. Although this is true there is some nuance to this concept. Jesus famously had a moment of intense anger at the temple where he flipped over tables and chased out merchants with a whip (John 2:15-16). Yet he was without sin. I can assure you if I started to flip tables and cracked a whip to those around me, I’d probably be sinning. People would recommend I take anger management courses or therapy. The difference lies within the motivation of the anger.
Righteous anger
Righteous anger occurs when you direct your anger toward an offense against God or in situations of injustice. If your hot temper is rooted in insecurities or your need to prove yourself then your anger is self serving. It’s a narcissistic behavior. However if your blood boils at injustice towards the vulnerable or the weak then that feeling of anger is justified. Yet this type anger does not absolve us from acting in an unholy matter.
Again its is the matter of motivation. In my righteous anger can I harm someone in retribution? No. The act of harm must be in the form of love. It’s like when you discipline a child, you “harm” them (whether it be a time out, or restriction of an activity, or even a measured spank) it’s for the purpose of correcting them. Why? Because you love them.
So anger is not always sinful. But…sometimes it is.
The Anger Within
Jesus is clear that he cares about the motivation of the heart. You can be doing all the right things on the outward surface of your life, but Jesus cares about the unseen thoughts and desires of the heart. So what if on the outside you are as cheerful and kind as can be, but on the inside you’re filled with bitterness and hate. This is when anger becomes sinful. This feeling has not manifested in an outward display of sinful acts, but the root of the anger has its origin in sin.
Where does that bitterness come from? Perhaps its that you felt slighted. Or that you feel that you deserve more or that your sense of superiority has been challenged. This ultimately is a manifestation of self glorification. Or at the very least not following the second greatest command of loving others as yourself.
So is it a sin to be angry? The answer really is yes and no.
Do you Have Sinful Anger?
If we tease out sinful anger from righteous anger. Which one do you have?
The simple answer involves whether your anger the result of love or hate? You can not have love for one and hate for the other, it has to be all love. You may think your anger is righteous when your child has faced injustice at the playground, but if there is hate towards the offending child, it is no longer righteous.
If you are angry because the poor are being exploited and you have hate towards the exploiting rich, this is not righteous anger. There is no hate in righteous anger. Only love. Love towards the victim and the offender. If you were slighted, it is love for yourself and the one who slighted you. This is how you know your anger is righteous or not.
How to Control you Anger
Let’s say you have sinful anger. Now how then do you control this? I will split this up into two parts. The first being changing from the heart, the inside out approach. The second are simple tips to control the heat of the moment. But really the answer lies in the first part
Inside out approach
This involves finding out why you get angry. Perhaps there are deep seated reasons. What you observed growing up. Perhaps it is related to insecurities or a profound amount of perceived stress with limited coping skills. There is a multitude of reasons why you may have a short temper and it may be clear to some but to others it may require deep reflection and perhaps counseling. But the truth of the matter is that it is a dysfunction in how you see the world.
What is it?
The inside out approach involves addressing our tendency to elevate ourselves or our desires beyond where it should be. It’s a manifestation of not being free from the world. The world has its chains around you.
If you are financially stressed you have failed to see that money is just a tool and that lack of money does not translate to a bad life. Jesus was in fact homeless and had no monetary power. Or if you are angry because you get easily offended your view of your self is too high. You don’t see that you are covered in dirty rags of sin and that from an eternal perspective you deserve condemnation.
But rather it is only through the works of Jesus that you are considered righteous. Or if you get angry because you see that others are incompetent or are immoral and their behavior angers you. Again its because you somehow see yourself better than them. But then again you have failed to see your true state of being no different than they in comparison to a holy God.
With this understanding Jesus breaks us from these bonds of the world that chain us to a mindset that leads to anger. When we fully accept our sinful state and that it is Jesus who redeems us. We are free from the effects of the world. And we are not fighting for our reputation, we are not fighting for an idol our hearts desire. We are free from all that binds us down and our anger will dissipate.
This is an inside out approach that requires a conversion. A change in heart. This comes through an encounter of Jesus. This is the real cure to anger.
Tips to control your anger
The first approach is the true transformation but sometimes it might not happen overnight. To sum this up here is a quick run down on ways to curb that angry outburst
Breathe to be Calm
Take a deep breath. Don’t react. When there is something that normally triggers you, don’t react. Keep yourself from reacting. Breathe slowly 30 times. This allows your brain to refocus and take control of your emotions
Write an Anger Journal
Perhaps you don’t have the insight to what causes you anger. Write an anger journal. Write down the times you get angry and the reasons and perhaps you’ll find a pattern.
Pray
Ask God to reveal your heart. Pray unceasingly so as to keep the constant line of communication to God.
Exercise
Going out and moving your body releases endorphins which can curb some of that negative emotion.
Communicate
Talk to people you trust and admire. Share your feelings with them. We are relational beings and the bouncing of ideas and thoughts is in itself therapeutic.
Healthy Habits
Find an outlet to your anger. Draw, run, read a book. Find ways that distract you so that you are no longer angry.
Check out the article: GIVING UP CONTROL TO GOD
Conclusions
We all have anger and anger can be righteous or sinful. Identify which kind it is. For the time being you may have to just stick with some quick tips to control it, but ultimately I hope you learn to find true healing, from the inside out and finally control your anger.
